It's real, ya'll... this thing called, Pregnancy Insomnia, derived from the interruption of sweet sweet slumber to urinate multiple times during the night while the husband is peacefully in la-la land. To be fair, he has been wonderful to me through my emotional roller coaster.
Honestly, if pregnancy wasn't the case, I may be diagnosed with a bi-polar disorder. One minute I'm happy, the next I'm crying of sadness, the next I'm pissed as ever. The smallest things irritate me like waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes, hardened food stains on the stove, caked food stains on handles and on the fridge doors, cooked vegetables that gag me to kingdom come, bay leaves, and fridge full of nothingness but vegetables and food I can't stand the sight and smell of. Cooking used to be my getaway, my stress reliever, but now it's repulsive. The smells, the cleaning, the being pissed off at the piled up mess, yet have no energy to fix things.
Sleeping patterns have been altered. I usually hit the sack at 6pm, wake up at midnight, stay up for 3 hours, then go back to bed and live a normal life. I've cut working immensely and been nursing this cold/flu naturally while our son is sick and my mother is not feeling well. I'm literally running on nothing so it's difficult to give more of myself, more of my time, and more of anything because I'm not in a good place mentally and emotionally.
These days, I've been pissed. The drop in temperatures below 30° F is maddening. One of the cars stop working, the tires are flat, and is running on fumes. Too sick and lazy to dress up in layers to get out of the house to fix everything.
Christmas cards are a drag this year. I do not want to take pictures while feeling like total and utter crap. But it's happening.
Overall, I'm pissed off at everything.
Universe, please throw me a good mood bone. Forever grateful, but mercurial. Thank you.
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