The Big Dilema

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


I'm absolutely torn between being a stay-at-home mom and being a career-mom. There are so many pros and cons to this that I'm in complete limbo. Dre, on the other hand, is working hard so that I can stay at home with our baby yet he says that if I want to go back to the career world he'll be supportive of my decision. This doesn't make it easier.

{ My Biggest Influence }
I'd love to get back in the water, swim with the sharks and be on top of my game -- but is it possible? Can I really be a career mom and be there for our baby? The thing is... having earned something from my hard work (independent from my husband) is extremely fulfilling, let alone escalates my self esteem (even though that paycheck will go in a joint account). Nonetheless, I love working for our business but the whole experience literally is a blow to my ego in a way that makes me feel dependent. If something happened to Dre, then where will the baby and I stand financially? I can't run the business alone. Besides, my mother is already overjoyed with excitement that our baby will be staying at their house the majority of the time while I work a full time job. Hmm... I don't know how  I feel about that... it literally makes me feel uncomfortable because our baby will not know me as "mommy."

It's literally driving me crazy. I wish I can absolutely do both. Why can't I? There are many women who go back to work after their maternity leave. Still I'm torn. As much as I want to go back to work, things could drastically change the first moment I hold our baby boy.

2 comments:

  1. A Woman's DiaryOctober 20, 2011 at 9:59 PM

    Hey!
    I always thought I wanted to be a career woman first, but there is a BUT (didn't you guess?) did I really want someone else to enjoy spending time and knowing everything about MY baby? No of course not! So, I think it is better for everyone if the mom takes care of the baby for at least 1 year! Then see what works better for you, may be part-time, may be full time, may be business... Let your husband take care of you, it feels so nice to know and feel all this love and care. Women are now too strong - sometimes we forget how it is to be taken care of... I should say I learned a lot about myself with this whole motherhood experience.

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  2. Elle AOctober 26, 2011 at 9:39 AM

    I'm still in limbo about this whole thing but I'm glad to get your perspective on it. I still have a few months to decide. One thing is that I don't ever want to feel guilty about anything. :-)

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