At T-10 minutes my nerves got to me. Things were about to get real and soon the world will be different with the addition of our new bundle of joy. Then my greatest fears reared their ugly head:
- The jabbing pain accompanied by the spinal block
- Complications with the surgery and thoughts of losing a significant amount of blood
- Complications with Valeska's delivery rendering her unconscious
- What if she has to be placed in the NICU and wont be able to come home for months?
- What if I can't produce enough breast milk? We don't want her to start formula.
- I'm going to be in so much pain recovering that I can't help much with the baby for the first few weeks. My husband will be stressed. I'm already feeling guilty
- What if Maksim feels left out? I'll be a horrible mother.
- Etc.
They walked me to the OR. This time they put socks with traction on my feet so my mind didn't wander to getting tetanus by walking the dirty floors of the hospital with my bare soles. We past the first OR where Maksim was born and then inside we went to the second OR, a bigger, brighter, more sci-fi looking room. There on that tiny T shaped sized bed was where I was to be sliced open and pull the baby out. Immediately my mind's eye played the surgery scene where Elizabeth Shaw delivered an alien baby in the movie Prometheus. I snapped out of it when the anesthesiologist positioned me to perform the spinal block guaranteeing it to hurt less than the IV the nurse stuck through my veins - TWICE. Surprisingly, it was more bearable than my first spinal block circa 2011. Again the procedure of inserting the catheter, raising the blue sheets, and giving me oxygen took place. My doctor asked if I felt her pinching, negative. They proceeded with the incision. Andrey was by my side, holding my hand, soothing me, and taking pictures.
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Hold my hand, dear husband, as we continue to write our fairy tale story.  |
"Soon you're going to feel like heavy pressing on your chest.
There will be lots of pulling and tugging to get the baby out."
- Anesthesiologist -
Music to my ears. I cried. It was so emotional. I've been wanting to hear her voice since I learned of my pregnancy. She screamed, our little Valeska girl - a screamer with strong lungs - an aspiring soprano perhaps? At this point I still haven't seen her. Husband snapped pictures left and right. He showed me some shots in the LCD Screen but I was so out of it - everything was a blur, and then...
"Congratulations! Meet your daughter!"
- Dr. B -
More screaming. She is absolutely beautiful. First words are extremely important. Simply put, my first words to my daughter upon seeing her for the first time were...
"Hi Valeska. I LOVE you soooo much! I can't wait to hold you."
Cue more crying from me here. And then they took her to be weighed, measured, and examined. APGAR Score: 9.
Valeska Andreea Arkhipova
aka Vala
Weight: 8.05 lbs
Length: 20 inches
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| She really looks like her big brother here, here, and the blog entry here. |
How significant the shift our lives have been through this year. We are now parents of two children; Maksim has a sister, likewise making him a big brother. It seems he has grown up so much now that Valeska came into this world. All changes a blessing, all a gift from God and the universe, all we worked so hard for and prayed for. Ask and it will be given to you. Through this whole experience, all I can say is Amen. God is good.
Thank you, Jesus, for our beautiful baby girl.
❤️
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